To Love One's Mind

My Reason for Being Absent

2009-08-20T00:49:00.002-05:00

Besides raising my little munchkins (my son started kindergarten, yeah!) and working a job that is no longer anything that I enjoy doing, I have been working non-stop on an idea for a four book series. Oh, I am so excited...but I am once again drowning myself in research, so I have decided to take a break and catch up on my blog.

Anyone know of some work from home wrtiting gigs that can be trusted? My life needs to change, I need to get my butt in gear and make a living doing what I love! Writing!

Never Been Witched

2009-08-20T00:09:00.005-05:00

Never Been Witched

Author: Annette Blair

The final installment of the Triplet Witch Trilogy. More sassy dialog and whimsical suggestive t-shirts. The reader is reintroduced to Destiny Cartwright. She needs to get away from everyone, one individual in particular. Morgan, the paranormal debunker and best friend to her two new brother in laws. All she can think about is getting him naked and in her arms, but he doesn't want anything to do with her! Imagine her suprise when the delectable Morgan shows up at the Paxton Island Lighthouse as well, but they are not alone

Morgan was raised in a strict family and Destiny goes against everything he has ever known. He has little belief in her self acclaimed psychic ability to see into the future. He as a secret past that he has never cared to share, so imagine his disbelief when Destiny announces the fact that his past has come to haunt him in the literal sense. Through her paintings and the bits of knowledge given to her by her new companions, Destiny tries to break through Morgan's stubborness to get through to his guilt ridden heart.

I must honestly state that this was not a great finish to such a wonderful series. Morgan's naivety was charming to a certain extent, but not so fitting after the previous two novels of the series. The introduction of an angel added a different element, but again seemed out of place alongside the witchcraft. A few of the intimate scenes, though an interesting twist, also seem misplaced and might not sit well with some readers. Also, she spends a lot of time in the past to be a psychic of the future, now her pictures did have something to do with the future (her future), but her mandate with Morgan focusses on the past.

Still, I love the sassy dialog and Destiny's wonderful heart.

I give this an B+

What was great: The cover!! How I do love this cover! As far as the novel went I enjoyed how their relationship was similar to first love. It grew from a friendship to love. It did not completely stem from a whole bunch of hot sex!

What was bad: The story was a bit jumpy and a lot of the ingredients just didn't come together to make a memorable story. The potential was definitely there though.

Annette Blair is a wonderful storyteller. I can't wait for her next series!

Gone with the Witch

2009-08-19T23:51:00.003-05:00

Gone with the Witch

Author: Annette Blair

The second installment of Annette Blaire's Triplet Witch Trilogy leaves the reader wiping away tears of joy! The witty conversation is comical and the adventures lead to some incredibly humorous situations! In this novel the reader is introduced to the strong willed, Gothic Cartwright twin, Storm. Her powers focus on the present, and every time she stands by the hunky best friend of her new brother in law, the sounds of a baby crying fill her mind. She knows that there is something wrong and makes it her psychic mandate to discover exactly what it is. With the aid of her sisters, she puts together a plan to find and help the crying baby, which means kidnapping a very resistant commitment-phobe.

Aiden McCloud does not want anything to tie him down. He travels at his pleasure and answers to no one. He has 'no strings attached' down to an art. When Storm begins to insist that the baby she hears is attached to him in one way or another, he does the only thing he knows to do - run!

Using her charm and a little bit of telekineses, Storm handcuffs a half naked Aiden to the bed of his mobile home and follows the voices in her head.

Eventually, Aiden decides to play along, if only to prove her wrong. On their journey of revelation, Aiden and Storm find more than missing babies! Though their story carries a more serious tone then the previous book, there is no shortage of laughter and giggles. Gone with the Witch keeps the reader engaged and curious with each turn of the page! Wait till you find out what Aiden's little secret just happens to be!!

I give this story an A+++

What is great: The characters! Not only the main characters, but the new characters that are introduced add to the seriousness and humor of this story. Could their family get any larger?

What is bad: Might be one step away from erotica with the steamy sex talk and play. Definitely might be an acquired taste for some readers not aware of what they are in for, other than that there is nothing else that I can put my finger on! The characters are strong and grow throughout the novel, the plot is genuine, and the dialog is sassy! Such a wicked delight!

Sex and the Psychic Witch Book Review

2009-06-24T19:09:00.009-05:00

Sex and the Psychic Witch

Author: Annette Blair

Annette Blair holds nothing back with this introduction to the Triplet Witch Trilogy, which is a bold and brazen masterpiece of inventive humor and colorful characters! The Cartwright sisters are not only triplets, but psychic witches to boot! All three representing either the past, present, or future. Harmony, the buyer for the Classic Immortal, can read into the past by touching objects and viewing where they have been and who they were in the possession of. An antique gold dress with the hidden half of a celtic puzzle ring sends Harmony to Paxton Castle with a psychic mandate she is bound and determined to see through! King Paxton, owner of the cursed Paxton Castle, cannot wait to restore and sell his inherited hell hole as fast as possible. With a construction crew that can't get along for five minutes and an incredibly ticked off witch ghost that seems to hate his guts, King's goal seems almost impossible to reach. Upon Harmony's arrival, the wailing 'wind' ceases and the crew is able to work in peace, but there is a whole new tension that enters the air. Sexual tension, that is! Forced to employ Harmony, he sets her to work cataloging the antique clothes throughout the hotel. On the side, she seeks out to find the secret of Paxton Castle and figure out why the live in ghost has it out for her new employer. Having Harmony around has solved some problems for King and created a great challenge him. How was he to resist the crazy, leggy blonde that threatened to change everything thing that he has ever believed in, and drive him as crazy as she is in the process! As Harmony uncovers each clue that brings her closer to fulfilling her psychic mandate, she finds herself wanting to uncover a lot more of King Paxton. Annette Blair cleverly intertwines Storm, Destiny, Aiden, and Morgan who eventually become the main characters of their own story for the following novels of the series, as well as Victoria and Rory from the previous accidental witch trilogy. I give this book an A+ What is great: The use of suggestive t-shirts to intensify the electricity between King and Harmony. What was bad: There are a lot of puntuation errors, other than that, this is an hyponotizing read!

I am now off the the present - reading the second book "Gone with the Witch"

The Definition of L-O-V-E

2009-06-20T12:56:00.002-05:00

A romance story tells the tale of a man and woman (or woman/woman; man/man) that overcome all obstacles to find their one true love or to keep the love that they have.

Throughout history, this was difficult due to the fact that marriages were more like a contract or a necessity for survival, but true love found its way in those rare occasions. Arranged marriages are not so common, but who has the time? The word love has been reduced to nothing more than a pick up line, so who can truly take it seriously?

So when someone states that line 'I love you', there is a lot that needs to be done to prove it anymore. Then you have those who yearn each day to hear it day, and when they do they take it for what it is.

So what is love anyways? How do you know that you are in love, and when do you know that someone loves you in return in every meaning of the word.

When you are in love:

You let go of the past and let those wounds heal for all eternity.
All you want to do is make your partner happy, which sometimes means that ther is a sacrifice that someone must make (not all of the time, but sometimes)
You do not judge your partner, nor do you try to change them - why try to change the person you fell in love with (unless they are abusive, then you just get the hell out of there)
You break down all of your walls and let them in, take the risk of knowing that your partner is someone you can trust with your battered heart
You are not afraid to be yourself. Trying to be someone you are not will only push them away. Honesty is the best policy or you are just setting yourself up for failure

You know they love you:

When they also follow the same patterns as listed above
Make you feel special and beautiful as the person that you are and not what they can make you
Go out of their way to let you know how they feel (an action, song, poem, a little note)
Fights for you and your heart, whether it is from yourself or from some external force

These are all defintely my opinion. If I am wrong, then that would serve me right! Would explain the still Single status here. LOL! But this is what I truly believe what love is all about. When two lives are meld together to become one. Mind, body, and spirit.

I know, I know....I am such a fairy tale sap!

Sigh.....

Anyways, this belief in true love is why romance novels make up 50% of the paperback industry!

What is in a genre?

2009-06-19T23:07:00.003-05:00

What I like the most about romance is the fact that you can add most genres into it. There are so many sub-genres that I get cross-eyed reading about it! But this fact alone makes writing romance a wonderful maze of mix and matched ideas!

Here are some noted sub-genres of romance according to Fiction Factor

Contemporary Romance
Romance tales set mostly in the present time, but can be categorized as taking place after the World Wars. Can (and often does) contain elements of suspense, humor, drama - or any mix thereof.

Fantasy Romance
Although still centered on a romantic tale, Fantasy Romances take place on other worlds and contain elemens of magic. They can also sometimes incorporate mystical creatures, like fairies or dragons, or horrific creatures, like vampires and werewolves. Some authors blend elements of mythology into fantasy romances.

Futuristic Romance
Obviously, romance stories set in the far future and containing some science fictional or fantastical elements. Mostly classified in the "paranormal" sub-genre, Futuristic Romances are gaining in popularity and thus some publishers may classify this sub-category as its own sub-genre.

Historical Romance
Romance stories set in the past and generally before the World Wars. Unfortunately "before the World Wars" is a broad classification and can be stretched so far back into our history to include: American West, American Colonial, American Civil War, American Revolution, American Reconstruction, Native American, Australian Colonial, European Dark Ages, Early European Rennaisance, French Revolution, Celtic, Medieval England, Middle Ages England, Victorian England and Regency England. The odd Pirate tale also shows up every now and then under this classification.

Paranormal Romance
Romance tales containing "other-worldly" elements such as ghosts or spectres. Can also be extended to include spirits, devils, demons or angels. In some cases, the characters may posses certain paranormal 'powers'.

Regency Romance
Romance stories set in England in the early 1800s - even though they are not the same as a "Historical Romance". They generally have a stronger focus on the surrounding society and the interplay between characters. This sub-category of the original Historical sub-genre became popular enough to warrant its own separate category.

Romantic Suspense
Romance containing an element of mystery and intrigue. Sub-categories include: Espionage, Forensics, Homocide, drug-dealing, smugglers. Generally contain a more dramatic tone and are most frequently set in a contemporary setting.

Time-travel romance
Romance tales set across two different time periods, with one or more characters "time-traveling" between both.

Western Romance
Often categorized under 'Historical' romance, these tales are of romances set in the American 'old west'.

My favorite is Paranormal Romance and Historical Romance. I am working on a couple of ideas that tie the two together. Almost all of these can be tied together one way or another. Writing a story about a cowboy trying to escape from his dark past can make a wonderful, tearful story, but then you throw a 21st century new yorker in the mix! You have hell on wheels and a lot of humor as she tries to figure out how to go from Ford Mustang to a Texas raised Mustang that kicks back! Or a womanizing nineteenth century Dandy who tries to shrug off his witch of a mistress, man what a bummer it would be to have his life interrupted at midnight, when he turns into a frog!

So much fun! But good way to loose focus trying to keep up with it all! Anyways, I am finding more ways to distracting myself from that blasted cursor that won't stop blinking...."type something already!"

Bookaholic!

2009-06-07T21:24:00.011-05:00

Today, I went to the bookstore....my true haven. I bought a bunch of novels and have set myself a project to get my creative juices flowing.

The books that I got were:

Seduced by your spell by Lois Greiman (I have already read the prequel to this book Under your spell)

The Children of the Sea by Virginia Kantra

Sea Witch ,Sea Lord, and Sea Fever

Yep, I got them all!!!

The Cartwright Triplets trilogy by Annette Blair

Sex and the psychic witch, Gone with the witch, and Never been witched

Yep, I got all of those too!

Hot Spell which is an anthology by Emma Holly, Lora Leigh, Shiloh Walkier, and MelJean Brook

I am excited to delve into these delicious novels!!

The Project you ask?

I am going to disect each one of these novels and see what makes them tick! I am going to build a small questionaire (what is the plot, who are the main characters, what are their stories, etc.) and then answer each of these questions after I read them, or during.

My efforts in studying the market. What makes them so popular! What makes them so great!

Why do I want to know? Because I want to be just like them! That's why! I think that is a given though.

I am wanting to do more of a historical based paranormal romance, but these will help me get comfortable with this subgenre so that I don't get nervous that I have no idea what the hell I am doing as I build my ideas for future works.

So off to the reading chair I go. If you have read these books, I would love to know what you thought of them!

A FanFic Experiment

2009-06-07T03:04:00.004-05:00

A Feline Kind of Love

The sun beamed through the open window and warmed her sleek form. She could hear the birds chirping outside and wished they would go away. It was Sunday, after all. There was no school. There was no crisis to attend to. With Sailor Galaxia returned to her normal self and Chaos defeated the world remained peaceful and safe.

The Starlights were off repairing their world and all of the true star seeds had been put back where they all belonged. Hopeful this was the end of their troubles. It was strange knowing what was going to occur in the 30th century while they were still living in the 20th century. Hopefully no one else would get the bright idea to challenge the young Neo Queen Serenity and try to rule the world.

She stretched as she yawned. She rose her head to check on the young princess and found her gone. She looked at the digital clock which read ten thirty five, and this puzzled her more. What would force Usagi-chan from bed so early in the morning? It was before noon. Why had she not invited her along?

The door made a slight noise as it was opened and drew her alert attention. “Artemis?”

The white cat froze in mid-step, his face contorting in misery at being caught. His furry white cheeks reddened with an embarrassed blush and his gaze turned to the floor in an attempt to hide his disappointment. He had hoped she would still be asleep.

She hopped down from the bed and moved to stand before him. She tipped her head to the side in her curiosity when he still did not meet her eyes. An immediate alarm arose in her for the safety of her dear princess. “Is everything ok? Where is Usagi?”

Artemis finally lifted his eyes to meet hers and grinned to reassure her maternal heart that everything was fine. “Usagi-chan is downstairs eating. She is suppose to meet the girls at the temple in about five minutes.”

“Without me?” Luna asked, slightly offended that she had been left behind.

His blush reappeared and his gaze returned to the floor.

Luna tipped her head, sensing that something was definitely amiss. “What are you up to, Artemis.”

“Sort of asked her to leave you be,” Artemis confessed, still staring a hole through the carpet.

“Whatever for?”

“Well...I wanted to spend time with you, Luna.” He met her wondering gaze with a dead serious one of his own. “Just you.”

It was Luna’s turn to blush now. Artemis pounced past her and jumped up on Usagi’s small bed. He motioned with his head for her to do the same. She gazed up at him, her heart expanding with an emotion she had never before thought to explore. In truth, She had always taken for granted the affection that was apparent between the two of them. When little Diana appeared, she had been reassured of what her fate was and never questioned it. But now, at this moment, as she stared at him through new eyes, the feelings she had long since paid no mind to came forth to awaken her callow heart. She did love him, but never had she told or shown him the true sensations of her soul. She always assumed that he already knew.

Once again he motioned for her to join him, and she complied. They only stared at each other for the next few moments. Artemis was the one to finally break the silence. “Luna, I have something very important to discuss with you.”

She looked at him with innocent eyes. Artemis hoped that what he was about to say and do was what was expected of him for the sake of the future and their little sweet Diana. He hoped his words and actions did not jeopardize either. He wanted his feelings to be known to Luna. He did not want their relationship to be accepted through an assumption based on what they had learned about the future through Chibiusa.

“I know that Diana is our daughter. It is obvious to us both what our fate is meant to be, but I...I want to let you know that, well....” His words trailed off and his gaze drifted to the open window. It is not that it was hard to say was on his mind. He had been thinking about it for quite some time, but the whole ordeal with the Starlights and Queen Galaxia had put his hopes on hold for a while. He didn’t want to sound silly in front of her. What if she laughed at his confession? It was a very sentimental moment for him, and he wasn’t sure if that is what she desired from him.

“Artemis, are you feeling ok?” Luna asked, she wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but her heart hoped. It beat at a dangerously fast pace and thundered in the perked up ears. The fine black fur at the back of her neck stood on end in anticipation. She did not let him see her internal tension, but instead smiled to console him and ease his worry.

Artemis sighed. “I know I am not a romantic astrologer or a handsome idol, but....”

“What does that have to do with any-” she started to argue, but his gentle paw came to her lips and ceased her words.

Artemis’ gaze glistened with every emotion his heart was experiencing. “I love you, Luna.”

Her breathing halted and her heart skipped several beats when his words registered in her mind. This is what she had been expecting, but its effect on her was unforeseen. She had always felt a fondness for her eternal companion, but always on a platonic level. Now their friendship was blooming into something more intimate and sincere. It made her so happy that tears began to sting her eyes. He carefully petted her cheek, which became rosy with an emotional blush.

“Oh, Artemis,” she whispered. A tear fell from the corner of her eye and was caught by his paw. She smile with trembling lips and said, “I love you, too, Artemis.”

His eyes shimmered with tears of their own, but he did not let them fall. He turned around and out of nowhere he pulled out a square, black velvet box and nudged it closer to her with his pink nose. Luna stared at it blankly. Her mind was so full of thoughts and emotions that it was becoming clouded and incomprehensive. Using a single claw she slowly pried it open. Within it was a bejeweled collar of diamonds and topaz set in white gold. She did not know what to say or do. She had not been expecting such an extravagant gift.

“How?” was all she was able to get out.

Artemis grinned, satisfied by her reaction. “Do you like it? Usagi and Minako helped me get it for you.”

“Artemis, you shouldn’t have.” She tore her eyes from the gift and looked at him as if he had gone mad.

Artemis became slightly embarrassed at his own extravagance. He scratched the back of his head and giggled uneasily. “You do like it, right?”

Luna laughed. “You silly feline! Of course I like it.”

“So will you?” he asked, becoming serious again.

Luna was baffled by his question. There was more to this? She narrowed her eyes in her confusion and asked, “Will I what?”

He grinned with a confidence he was not sure he felt all the way through. He was still a bit frightened by what she might think of the whole thing. “Will you be my wife?”

“Wife?” Luna’s golden gaze widened with surprise. “Cats don’t get married.”

“If you have failed to notice, sweetheart, we aren’t any typical kind of cat,” Artemis stated. “So what do you say?”

“You are serious, aren’t you?” She asked one more time to make sure.

“Serious as I could ever mean to be.” Artemis nodded in agreement with his own statement. He waited for her response. She was quiet for a while and her face did not portray what she was feeling. He could not tell whether she was happy or unsure. He silently hoped beyond all hope that she would accept his offer. Usagi and Mamoru were to be wed, and one day Small Lady would marry. Why could they not wed. They didn’t have to have the whole ceremony that humans normally would have, but they would know it in their hearts that they belonged to each other and no one else. Not that he ever felt threatened by Yaten or the astrologer.

“Then what the hell!” She pounced on him, catching him off guard and causing him to scream as he fell back, and hugged him tightly. When she loosened her grip around his neck, she leaned her head back a grinned down at him. There was a sparkle in her eye that he didn’t remember ever seeing there before. She winked and asked brazenly, “How about getting started on our future?”

Artemis grinned in return, catching her drift. “Whatever you say, love. I am yours, and we are alone.”

Too Late Dearest

2009-06-07T02:57:00.004-05:00

“You are of no use to me anymore!”

Frustrated beyond madness, Leilani threw the thick paperback book against the far wall of her moderate apartment as hard as she could. For the last three months she had read and studied almost every page of the damnable thing in hopes of achieving her heart’s desire, but to no avail. She was still alone. So unbearably alone.

The encouraging smiles. The teasing stares. The hinting phrases. She had followed each step flawlessly. What could she have missed? She had explored every possibility offered by the three hundred and forty five paged book, save those hidden within the last chapter. She no longer possessed the strength or the patience to follow through with it. She gave up. There was no light at the end of her forsaken tunnel. There was no use continuing this slow self-inflicting torture any longer. She leaned her back against the deep blue wall beside her bedroom door. Angry tears seared their way down her flushed cheeks, the image of her beloved agony appearing before her mind’s eyes. She clenched her fists on either side and threw them back harshly, punishing the wall for her rage. Her heart constricted, confining the war of emotions to her very core. The acid of rejection ate away at her soul until there was nothing left of the gentle Leilani but a hollow shell.

Love was supposed to be beautiful and free, warming the heart like wine. Someone had laced her wine with belladonna, she thought bitterly. She felt trapped and abandoned. There was no castle in the sky for her, no happily ever after. Damn you, Hollywood! Damn you for implanting a mythical idea in the influential mind of a dreamer, such as herself. She had been a fool to think that she could live the enchantment created by a script and a director’s imagination. She had been a fool to believe that love could conquer all. Not a shy heart. One sided loves only pillaged and stole away young fantasies born of a romantic heart.

Leilani went into the kitchen to check on her dinner preparations. The apricot glazed corned beef wasn’t quite ready to be taken out of the oven, and the ginger dip and fruit chilled in the refrigerator with the strawberry cheesecake she had made from scratch. On the marble counter waited a wooden bowl filled to the brim with crisp green lettuce leaves topped with fresh tomatoes and cucumbers, all bathed in a homemade vinegar dressing. Behind it were two crystal goblets lined intricately with gold and an unopened bottle of red wine dating back to 1927.

She had worked hard on this special dinner, intending it to be the confessional in which she would reveal the tender secrets of her being to the essence of her existence. In the dining area emerald candles held firmly in twin candleholders of the clearest crystal illuminated the cherry oak table set for two.

The sight of the second place setting brought the searing of sorrowful tears anew. No one would be sharing this meal with her this evening. Alone. Always alone. The pangs of hunger faded away, lost to her distant thoughts. The sparks of anger dulled as a profound depression swept over her. She had tried so hard to win her heart’s ultimate hope. Still that was not enough. What else had she to do to express her extreme affection? Did she have to climb to the top of Mount Everest and shout it to the world for her precious temptress to understand all that she felt? Was she to be forced to explain in meticulous detail what she experienced when they had first met, that morning at the LA Public Library? The unexpected shock of emotion that had bolted threw her body when she looked up from the novel she had been reading and saw the tall blonde woman standing there searching the shelves dedicated to sport racing and fancy automotives.

Dearest Alex….

Leilani absently started to cut the strawberries in halves. They were to be used for a special, purely intimate invention she had dreamt up late one night while lying alone in her queen size bed. That dream was now dead. An idea forever to remain undiscovered. She had another engagement, Alex had stated as she politely declined the dinner invitation. Leilani couldn’t help the jealously that was conjured by her wild imagination. Was she blonde or brunette? Her grip on the bone handle of her knife tightened painfully. Her teeth began to grit in her developing anger.

Without Alex here by her side, the strawberries had lost their purpose for the evening, and she had lost her purpose for being and her reason for living. The steel of the blade flashed in the dim light of her kitchen, a pair of green eyes shaped similar to a cats smiled intimately at her from the shadows of her memory, and then her mind became nonexistent.

Her nerves were so numb that she could not feel the sharpness of the blade as it pierced through the fine skin of her wrist. A crimson trail followed the length of the faint blue line of her vein. Unconscious of what she was doing she replicated her action upon the other arm. She stared at her twin wrists, seeing the gathering pools of blood, watching it overflow and rain upon the white tile. She did not understand what was happening to her. What had she done?

Release. Sweet, sweet release, she sighed as her body relinquished to the power of gravity and despair, the knife falling unnoticed from her limp hand. She laid there on the cool surface of her kitchen floor, her life draining from her fragile form.

You can no longer hurt me, Leilani whispered internally…my dearest Alex.

Alex tapped her perfectly manicured nails against the hardwood tabletop impatiently as she waited for her date to arrive. They were to meet here at six o’clock sharp to discuss a matter of great importance, and it was now ten minutes past. She despised tardiness with a passion, and this person knew it, yet she continued to ignore the fact.

She was supposed to be meeting with the shy schoolteacher, Leilani Swanton, at seven for dinner at her place. Unfortunately, Alex had been forced to cancel at the last minute due to this meeting. Leilani was incredibly smart and beautiful beyond the imagination. She was the Goddess of the Tropic with thick black hair that curled delicately at her slim waist and honest eyes that were alive with young dreams of romance. God knew that she longed to be there in that small apartment with Leilani than here in this four star restaurant.

It was strange to Alex how complete and content she felt when spending time with the bashful Leilani. The free flowing conversations and spontaneous laughter they shared during the last year filled her heart with a simple peace that she was unaccustomed to. It was in many ways terrifying to her.

Between racing and promotions, her life didn’t offer much room for quiet pleasures of the simplest nature. This was the joy that Leilani bestowed upon her, and Alex savored it selfishly. Leilani was the few threads of sanity that kept Alex’s insane world together.

In small ways, Leilani continuously hinted at severe affections, and this brought up red flags in Alex’s conscious. Everything was perfect and down-to-earth. Why make things complicated by trying to fit a serious relationship into it? She had told Leilani last night that all she desired was friendship from her. Her excuse had been that her life was too busy and unpredictable for a steady relationship. Alex had seen the heartbreak in Leilani’s violet gaze, and could feel her own heart cry out for her, but she held firm to her decision. The truth of the matter was that she feared falling hopelessly in love with the exquisite woman. A fate that was inevitable if things were allowed to become too intense.

Alex had to be careful about her emotions. She couldn’t allow them to get all tangled up in a web of blind love. In this profession you had to keep your mind clear with no distractions, or else you lost. Life was too serious for her, as of right now. She could not ask the gentle Leilani to leave all that she loved behind to join her on her promotional tours and out of country races, or to sit and wait for her while she was gone for six months to a year. It was too much to ask of a loved one.

Alex finally spotted a familiar face among the incoming crowd of evening diners, snapping her out of her disturbing reverie. She stood respectively and waited for the red headed woman in an overly sexy black dress to join her at the table. The woman smiled gratefully, then proceeded to take her seat across from Alex’s. The tall blonde glanced down at her watch without drawing her companion’s notice and saw that it was six thirty five. On a normal basis, she would have left twenty minutes ago had she not been so lost in thought.

Alex smiled politely, and then abruptly became serious, as was her nature. “What is the emergency, Mari, that you could not tell me over the phone?”

The woman smile brightened and her eyes glowed with ambition. “Ok, I know you love to race, but you also love to play the piano, right?”

Alex raised a slender brow in question. “So?”

The young woman sighed dramatically. “Well….”

When the red head didn’t continue, the aggravated blonde raised her brow higher with inquisition. She didn’t think she liked where this was going in the least.

In one long breath, and a stream of rushed words, Marissa Prescott announced, “I booked you a concert at Carnegie Hall in New York!”

Marissa waited eagerly for her client’s response. The response was far from what she had anticipated.

“How?” Alex asked, calmly. Too calmly for comfort.

Marissa smiled weakly, feeling nervous now. “That tape you made me while we were dating last year, before you became my client. I sent it to them and they loved it. You play so beau….”

Alex slammed her palms down on the table and lifted herself from her seat. She looked Marissa dead in the eyes and said in a deep voice that was unnatural for any woman, “you had no right. No right!”

Marissa gulped for air. “Why not? It was my tape.”

“And it is my passion! Mine! Something I desire for only me, not for all of New York!” Alex hollered an inch from Marissa’s face.

“You are being selfish, Alex!” Marissa dared to shout, her own anger now flared. “You have always been selfish. That is why I left you in the first place.”

Alex laughed loudly, drawing the attention of the entire dining area around the two ex-lovers. “You left me? If I remember correctly, Mari, you were the one crying incessantly after being left in the rain in downtown Los Angeles because you never could learn to shut that ignorant, gossiping mouth of yours! The only reason you are my agent is because you know a lot of high standing people.”

“You bitch!” Marissa screeched, standing abruptly to face her offender. “How dare you speak of me in that manner!”

Alex laughed cruelly once again then leaned forward till her nose almost touched Marissa’s. “I am famous, and you, my dear meddler, are fired.”

With that said, Alex turned on her heel and left the restaurant in quick strides. Damnable woman! Trying to stick her nose where it did not belong. Yes, she played the piano. It was her simple pleasure in life when she could not be with Leilani…Leilani. Alex glanced down at her watch and saw that it was only ten minutes past seven. The schoolteacher’s apartment was only fifteen minutes away from here by car. If she hurried she wouldn’t be too late to dine with her. The valet brought her midnight blue Ferrari to the doorway within moments, and Alex sped away without tipping the boy. As she drove down the brightly lit highway, her mind trailed back the events of the evening. To think the damnable red head dared to sell off her music. The flow of notes that were conjured from Alex’s educated fingertips was hers and hers alone. She had once fancied herself in love with Marissa Prescott and had made the rash decision to make her a tape of a few of Marissa’s favorite love songs played by her on the piano.

Marissa was just as annoying as she was beautiful. All of her life she had gotten everything her heart desired from her father, her suitors, and her idolizing friends, and it is because of this pampering that she came to develop a sufficient number of flaws that greatly outweighed any good qualities she might have had.

Marissa had a bad habit of talking too much and not speaking nicely of anyone. Alex had been stupid enough to introduce Marissa to Leilani a month after meeting the elementary school teacher at the public library. Leilani had been nice enough to make dinner for them and was polite in every manner, despite the witless red head’s constant chatter of things she thought she knew about. On the way home from the apartment, Marissa did nothing but put down the lovely woman who had shown her nothing but kindness and patience. Her clothes were too plain and her apartment was too depressing with its deep blue walls and cherry wood furniture. Then she complained about the food being too bland and not thoroughly cooked.

Impulsive and cruel when angered, Alex had pulled over, told her to step out of her car at once before she beat her, and then had thrown some money out the door before slamming it shut and taking off. After that evening, she made it utterly clear to the bawling woman that she wanted nothing to do with her, and everything to do with Leilani.

Months later, Alex was forced to accept Ms. Prescott’s proposal and take her on as an agent. She knew all of the major sponsors and could book a successful promotion anywhere and at anytime. Marissa assumed that Alex would come back to her after she had made her successful beyond her dreams. Not the case. Alex kept her distance and now Marissa was without her most prominent client.

The Ferrari came to a halt before the three-story apartment building in the center of downtown Los Angeles. There was a faint light coming from Leilani’s solitary window on the top floor. Alex wondered what she was doing. She was in someway thrilled at surprising Leilani with her presence. She entered the double doors and took the steps three at a time up to the third floor. There were four apartments on this floor, and Leilani was the only resident. The other three were empty. Which was good for many intimate reasons. They could be as loud as they wanted on the nights that Alex stayed over, as long as it didn’t travel to the neighbors below, who were old and half deaf anyways. These evoking thoughts brought forth a wicked grin to her charismatic features and lit a voracious fire in her green eyes. She glanced at her watch and saw that it was only seven thirty. She was a half hour late, but at least she was here. Alex hoped Leilani wasn’t too angry with her?

Alex took a deep breath as she headed down the corridor to the last door on the right, straightening her silver Armani suit. The stench of burning meat immediately assaulted her sense of smell. The smell became stronger as she got closer to Leilani’s door.

As she knocked on the door, Alex envisioned Leilani fanning her small brown oven with a magazine in a desperate attempt to clear away the smoke and reach the spoiled dinner hidden within. She tried the doorknob after receiving no answer, found it locked and proceeded to knock again. There was still no answer. Surely Leilani could hear her knocking, Alex thought with a frown. She became slightly worried about the welfare of her dear friend, but it wasn’t until the smoke alarm shrieked its despair that her heart compressed with fear and panic.

Instinctively, she stepped back and kicked open the cheap plywood door. She scanned the living area for any sign of Leilani as she strided across to the walled in kitchen. A quick glance through the yawning bedroom door revealed no one. Where was Leilani, she pondered wildly. The kitchen was consumed entirely by a thick cloud of smothering smoke, rendering Alex temporarily blind. The intense heat and stench of burning meat overwhelmed her senses immediately. Using memory as her guide, she searched the wall near the entrance to her left with a clumsy hand, and found an oven mitt to use as a fan. It did little to clear a path for her to the oven, but it was enough for her hands to find the temperature knobs and turn the oven off and flick on the fan above to vacuum out the hazardous cloud.

Alex opened the door to the oven and used the mitt to pull out the ruined meat. It was charred beyond recognition, whatever it had been. The veil of smoke surrounding the closed in room thinned, allowing Alex to see with some amount of clarity, and again she pondered the whereabouts of Leilani. It was not like her to be so careless.

When she moved away from the stove to escape the remaining haze, the heel of her foot tapped against something sprawled on the floor. Alex’s back was stiff and rigid as she turned, her heart racing with dread. Leilani, clad in an elegant dress of deep purple, lay on the white tile floor, still as death. Suffering from a pain that ran deeper than shock and grief, Alex was unable to cry out her anguish or move to aid her aggrieved friend. Her green gaze, slowly becoming blurred by wretched tears that she did not think to hide, focused on the fatal incisions on Leilani’s golden arms.

She was unaware of when had she fallen to her knees and crawled to Leilani’s side. All she could think of was a single question that echoed throughout her being. Why?

Alex cradled Leilani’s head in her lap, rocking back and forth. With trembling fingers, she brushed away a few dark curls from the alluring beauty’s cheek. This slight movement awoke the tiny flame of life smoldering within Leilani’s hollow core. Her eyes fluttered open and centered on Alex’s troubled face. Her violet eyes glistened with joy, which strangely transformed into concern.

“Why are you crying?” she asked innocently, as if she had no recollection of what she had committed. This broke Alex’s heart beyond repair.

Leilani reached up to wipe away the tears that fell unheeded from Alex’s grief-stricken gaze. It was then that she saw the blood that surged from her body, and it was then that she remembered.

Leilani felt angry with herself for having deprived herself of any remaining hope. Repetitively, she asked herself what she had done. The rest of the evening returned to her, and she recalled the reason for her insanity. She was alone in this world. Destined to never be loved, and it was Alex who had confirmed this for her by denying Leilani the pleasure of her love. Her anger became directed towards the beautiful racer.

But as she stared at her cherished heartbreak, her fury faded into grief born of unforgotten love. The unguarded emotions storming across Alex’s handsome features told Leilani that Alex was already suffering enough.

Alex swiped at her tears, hating them and what they revealed. She had to be strong for Leilani. It was her fault that this was happening. If she had been here, then none of this would be occurring. Damn you, Marissa! She had to make everything okay, Alex thought irrationally, growing crazy in her extreme apprehension and grief. She had to call for help.

“I’ll call an ambulance,” Alex murmured quickly.

Before she could move, Leilani grasped Alex’s wrist and held her in place. Alex could not control the burning sensation of her tears as they fell anew. “I have to get help!” she whispered loudly through clenched teeth.

Leilani only smiled with tender understanding. A solitary raindrop of sorrow fell from the corner of her dimming gaze as she whispered, “It’s too late, dearest.”

“No!”

Leilani’s throat became swollen in her despair. She could feel her soul breaking free, ready to spread its wings and fly far away into an unknown realm. She was only here now to say goodbye.

“I…I wanted to tell you,” she began, her voice shaking violently, “that I love you, Alex. I love you so much.”

Any strength that Alex had been able to conserve vanished in that instant. The epiphany of what she had done was too much for her to bear, for any person to bear. Her selfish heart and false excuses were to blame for Leilani’s foolish actions. There was no one else to blame.

She caressed Leilani’s temple as affectionately as was imaginable.

“Stupid, stupid girl.” Alex smiled sadly. “I have always loved you. Since that day our eyes met in the library.

Leilani cried out painfully. Alex’s words had pierced her like a poisoned arrow. At that moment, her spirit broke the mortal chains that had bound her to earth for the last twenty-seven years. Leilani’s fire was extinguished and there was a great light in the world of the eternal realm.

She watched the paramedics roll away the gurney that held Leilani’s covered body from the apartment with miserable eyes. There were three cops searching each room for anything that would raise suspicion. Outside the entrance, another cop talked to the landlady. The old woman had been terribly fond of Leilani, always bringing up cookies and cakes for the couple to share. Mrs. Mandrake’s sobs could be heard from where Alex leaned, hands firmly tucked away in her pockets and legs crossed at the ankles. There, Alex remembered Leilani’s smiling face, and then witnessed it transform into heartbreak.

“What is your worse fear in life, Alex?” Leilani asked, looking down at her lover, combing Alex’s short golden tresses with her slender fingers.

Alex stretched before raising her head from the pillow and leveling her eyes with Leilani’s brilliant violet gaze. She smiled weakly, then became sincere within the blink of a second. She didn’t say anything for the longest time, savoring the exotic beauty that was beginning to threaten the normalcy of her active life. Everything was perfect now, the way it was, and had been for the last year or so. Leilani was honest and pure, never able to hide her amorous emotions from anyone, especially Alex. Now she was asking questions that Alex didn’t dare answer.

“Friendship has always been important to me, Leilani,” she replied, working around the question. “And true friends are the rarest to find. For me, and for anyone.”

Leilani tipped her head to the side to show her confusion.

Alex traced her lover’s smooth jaw and smiled affectionately. “I am glad to have someone I can trust like you. You are a good friend, and I hope you remain that way forever.”

Her lavender eyes glistened and betrayed her distress, but she smiled in hopes that it would all disappear. Alex yearned to make her understand that she did care for her immensely, but love was out of the question. She could not allow complications to be added to her already demanding reality. No obstacles could come between her and all that she had accomplished, and had yet to attain.

Alex leaned over to her and kissed away Leilani’s woeful thoughts, pushing her back into the comfort of the bed and the admiration of her embrace….

The last police officer to leave the scene approached Alex to announce all was done that could be. Alex nodded her gratitude, remaining silent. The officer turned to leave, but stopped midway as if it were a second thought.

“We found this on the floor by the door,” he said, handing the mute blonde a thick paperback book. “Thought you would know what to do with it.”

With that said, the officer left, closing the door behind him. Alex stared at the book, the burning sensation of her sorrow returning to her green eyes as she read the title. Revealing the secrets of the heart: How to say I love you by Anne Graves. She flipped to where the bookmark was wedged. Leilani hadn’t read the last chapter. Alex had never encouraged her to make it that far. Just say it, the title of the chapter said. Damn it all to hell! Alex shoved her tall form from the wall and walked across the room to the bedroom. The bed was neatly made and the room was clean everywhere you looked. Leilani was always the little perfectionist. Alex hesitantly laid down on the bed and curled in its center, inhaling the lavender scent of her sweet Leilani. She recalled the joyful, and equally painful, memories she had of the shy schoolteacher that had interrupted the steadiness of her existence.

Oh, Leilani, what am I to do without you? Can you ever forgive me for being so self-centered? I do, Leilani. I do love you so. But it is too late.

They had shared this bed on so many occasions, anything from sensual embraces to simple conversations. Alex tightly closed her eyes, fighting back any more tears that might force their way through her defenses and trying to block out the memories cascading forth from the past. She didn’t want to deal with it right now. Alex sighed and slightly relaxed. She missed her, and knowing she would never see her beloved schoolteacher again created a permanent void that engulfed her shrinking heart. Emotional exhaustion swept over her and she was lulled to sleep by the enchanting vision of Leilani’s golden magnificence.

Her unconscious mind replayed the terrifying events of the evening over and over again. The stench of the meat and the sting of the smoke. Leilani’s lifeless body lying there on the white tile, encircled by the crimson puddle that drowned her weary soul. The screaming of the smoke detector. The screaming? Did it sound like that? Her curiosity slowly roused her from her fitful sleep. Alex could hear the ring coming from her pants pocket, and realized it was her cell phone. She dug it out and brought the small device to her ear.

“What?”

“Where are you?” A frantic voice asked from the other side. There was a lot of commotion going on in the back, but her drowsy mind could not make it out.

“That is no concern of yours,” she snapped.

The man sighed impatiently, understanding that Alex held on tight to what little privacy she did have. “Look, Alex. I don’t care where you are. What I do care about is where you aren’t. The championship race is in an hour, and my driver is missing.”

“Shit!” Alex mumbled, jumping out of the bed. “I’ll be there.”

She hung up the phone before her crew chief could say anything else. The track was forty-five minutes away. If she hurried she would get there in enough time to jump in her car and go. She entered the lounge room and stopped dead in her tracks, memories of the previous night overpowering her emotions. Damn! The frenzy created by being late for the race had temporarily erased the events of last night. That short relief was now washed away, leaving Alex paralyzed by the ache that cut through her. She noticed the table set for two for the first time. The candles had melted away to nothing, green wax hanging like icicles off their holders. Leilani had planned things so perfectly, and she had ruined all of her expectations with her excuses. It would be so easy to blame Marissa, but she knew that the annoying red head could not be held responsible. Alex could have postponed the meeting, but she had been nervous about the dinner and found it easy to sweep it aside.

Alex felt shame for having been so egotistical and thoughtless. Leilani had loved her unconditionally. All Alex felt was fear of things getting all mixed up and the daily routine of her life being interrupted. Alex could have supported her, and Leilani would have given up everything to be with Alex wherever she went. Alex had been too self-involved to allow herself to believe that. It was not until Leilani was dying in her arms that she opened her eyes. It was not until then that she admitted to herself that she was in love with her, always had been. It took Leilani sacrificing her life to bring Alex to such a simple epiphany.

The direction of her thoughts frustrated her into a noxious rage. She grabbed her jacket off the sofa and marched out of the apartment. Once in her Ferrari, she raced north to the interstate that would lead her straight to the speedway. For the next forty-five minutes her mind continued to plague the racer with musings of self-blame. She became angrier and angrier with herself, the image of Leilani’s innocent face agonizing her pounding heart.

When she got to the track, her crew was waiting for her. Her crew chief was the first to approach her. “Get your suit on and get in that car, you are just in time for the green light. You are thirteenth.”

Alex only nodded as she slid into her blue racing suit, covered with the different badges of her supporters. Just as she got herself buckled into her car, she heard the announcer shout, “Driver’s, start your engines!”

There was a roar of motors and a deafening wail amongst the crowd as the race began. There were three hundred laps to complete and twelve cars to pass. Alex hardly noticed what she was doing, or what her crew chief was saying. She couldn’t see the road, only Leilani. She was alive and happy, and then she was sad and dead. Everything was a blur to Alex, but still she managed to get through to the front and lead the race within the first hundred laps. She did not remember pitting or fighting for first once more. Normally she found comfort in the thrill of the race. Not this time. Her thoughts were too domineering. Her emotions were so devastated that they had become numb. The forceful trembling of the car went unnoticed by Alex, and though she was winning the race, she was careless in her turns and passes. She was responsible for sending cars into the wall and causing an accident that eliminated three cars from the rest of the race. She was oblivious to it all. Her conscious mind was entirely consumed by her misery. Alex passed the line as the checkered flag waved. The crowd cheered. Alexandra Berringer had won the race and was now number one in points, therefore the first female Winston Cup Champion. As was the Nascar ritual, she was to pull in to the winner’s circle to accept her trophy and congratulations, but she didn’t stop. Everyone watched, stupefied, as she continued going straight where she was to turn. The blue Chevrolet crumpled against the force of the cement wall, then bounced off of it, flipping twice before spinning to a halt on its roof.

Alex unbuckled herself and climbed out of the car before the rescuers reached her. She felt the throbbing in her chest and head, and knew that something was terribly wrong with her as she lay there beside her destroyed car. She didn’t care. She had no desire to live any longer. Not without Leilani. Not with the internal suffering that tore through her. Leilani....

There was a flash of light in the sky, brighter than the sun that brought time to an abrupt halt and silenced the world. So beautiful. She wore a flowing tunic of lavender, her favorite color, and her black hair blew carelessly in the wind created by her immortal wings. Her embrace was warm and inviting as she wrapped her transparent arms around Alex’s aching body. The angel’s smile was soothing, and forgiving.

“Leilani…” she whispered through lips that tried desperately to smile, but could not due to her unending misery.

“It was not your fault, my precious Alex,” she whispered. “This was how it was meant to be.”

Leilani’s strange words confused Alex to a point where her anger and frustration returned. “How? How do you justify such suffering? How can you tell me that what I did to you is excusable?”

Leilani’s slanted eyes softened as she gazed at her beloved’s tormented face. “Come, my love. Share eternity with me.”

“I love you, Leilani. I am so sorry I didn’t tell....”

The tender angel brushed Alex’s tears away, shaking her head.

Alex’s lips curved into a trembling smile. She gently cupped the hand that touched her face, and then with all the sincerity of a dying wish, she met Leilani's eyes and asked, “Marry me?”

This simple, yet binding question, caught Leilani off guard. All the dreams of her mortal life were all of a sudden coming true. Her mouth opened, but no words came forth. She didn’t know what to say.

“Marry me, Leilani, and I promise to be honest to you from here on. I promise never to hide….”

Leilani hushed Alex’s words with two gentle fingers upon her darling one’s quivering lips. Her smile was comforting and full of promises of her own. “Come.”

Alex sighed, and there her mortal life ended, and her everlasting bliss began. Hand in hand, Leilani guided Alex to their sanctuary. Where they could love each other with no concerns of the future or the past. Angels of neither heaven nor hell. Exiles by judgment. Free by heart.

Cheyenne Nightmare

2009-06-07T01:49:00.005-05:00

Morning Storm walked lightly upon the earth that had once supported her home. She slowly picked her way over the dead and mutilated bodies of men, women, and children that littered the ground, the lifeless forms of those who had been her family and friends. Moments ago this had been a thriving village tucked away in the middle of an isolated valley; children laughed, dogs barked, and adults gossiped while doing their chores. Now they lay scattered upon the bloodthirsty land that had once been a part of them and their source of life, and was now only a provider of cold, damp burial ground.

The summer morning, cooled by a restful breeze, was like any other. Children played within the watchful gazes of their family, the woman started their chores, and the men sat in the shade repairing and sharpening their weapons. Everyone was excited about the upcoming buffalo hunt and the feast that would follow. The warriors shared their stories of previous hunts while the women boasted of their men’s many coups. The young boys ran around the camp pretending to be grown warriors hunting the wondrous buffalo, doing their best to impress the young maidens that watched and giggled.

Morning Storm had been playing with dolls in front of her parent’s teepee as her mother prepared the morning meal in a cast iron pot her husband had traded for at the nearby trading post. Morning Storm looked up at the woman as she stirred the stew leisurely and smiled brightly. Her mother returned the smile then returned her attention to the boiling pot. Then, with the sound of a woman’s terrified scream, soon cut short by an explosion sounding similar to thunder, the peaceful dream transformed into a devastating nightmare.

An unending sea of bluecoats flooded the camp. A violent storm of gunshots and screams and thundering hooves filled the gentle day with calamity and heartbreak. The men had no weapons in hand that could compare to those of their opponents, so they were left helpless. Young ones cried for their mothers while hideous battle cries called out for blood. With each shot of the white man’s gun, another man, woman, or child fell to the ground, a mask of terror and agony distorting their bronze features.

Raging Wind, Morning Storm’s strong willed mother, was able to hide her only child in the hollow trunk of an ancient tree outside the circle of teepees. She reached over and hacked off a bunch of green leafed branches from a nearby hedge with a small dagger of bone and steel, and made quick work of creating a makeshift bush to conceal the hole that would reveal her daughter if noticed. When she finished she whispered through the barricade for Morning Storm to remain still and quiet, and then turned to leave. Something stopped Raging Wind in mid-step, temporarily drowning out the panic and anger she felt. She returned to the barricade and whispered affectionately, “I love you”.

With that said, she turned away quickly and disappeared into the blanket of smoke that veiled the enflamed village to stand by her husband’s side to protect their home and people. Morning Storm was frozen with fear and could not have moved if she had wanted to. All she could do was listen to the tortured cries of her people and wonder why anyone would want to hurt them. Little bear, Falling Star, Stand so tall. They had bothered no one.

When the massacre had finally silenced and the white man’s shouts of victory as they collected their vile trophies had faded into history, she stumbled from her hiding place. What greeted her was a view that was more than any child should have to bear witness to: Red or white.

Nothing. The soldiers had left her nothing. No family. No friends. No home. Her once proud and tranquil home now lay in ruins before her.

The tears she had tried so hard to keep back finally spilled forth in a cascade of grief and despair. What was she to do now? Nothing? Her whole life lay at her feet; demolished and molested. It was as if they had killed her as well, and now she walked the wastelands of the Christian’s hell. Deep in her heart she wished they had killed her and silently scolded her mother for hiding her, so that she may live to see this and face uncertainty alone. There was no longer anything for her to live for. She was alone in a land where she was surrounded by the enemy of her people, where she knew she would be hunted for the duration of her life, and there was no one to protect her except for herself.

Through the blinding smoke, Morning Storm found the charred remains of her beloved parent’s teepee. A few feet away from its smoldering skeleton laid the entwined bodies of her mother and father. Raging Wind’s head rested on her husband’s still chest. Bear Tooth’s arms were wrapped around her waist, holding her close to him. They looked as if they were sleeping, dreaming of a time and a place where their people lived in constant peace and harmony with all around them. Where the threat of the white man’s greed did not exist. Where savage, unjustifiable death was unknown.

But the bullet wounds that marred Raging Wind’s forehead and Bear Tooth’s chest and shoulder, and the patches of jet black hair missing from both of their heads were telltale and did not lie. Here parents were no longer a part of her life and she was no longer a part of theirs. Their carefree spirits roamed the vast hunting grounds of another world and she was uninvited. Memories were all that remained of the life she had known. Oh, how she yearned to join them.

Morning Storm crouched down on her hands and knees and slowly crawled between their silent forms. She rested her head upon her father’s chest next to her mother’s and buried herself in their cold embrace, crying herself into a restless sleep full of nightmares of the past event that had abruptly changed her life. She was the only survivor of her small tribe, for not one face was missing among the dead, but for her own. Only the Great Spirit knew what her destination in life would be. He knew she would live, learn, and survive, if only for the sake of revenge.

Running In Circles

2009-06-07T00:49:00.007-05:00

Okay, so now I have made the decision to get back to writing, something that I used to love and still do, but I am drowning in my own imagination!

My biggest problem? I get so interested in the research and the character developement that I seem to skip the whole writing process. I will begin researching and developing one idea and then find some information that would be great for another idea! Talk about a dog chasing its tail!

I think at this point I have written down six story ideas at this time, have plots for them, and have developed most of the characters, but have yet to write a single line of the story itself!

This is incredibly frustrating and somethingthat I am working very hard to triumph over, but I am still doing it! Any advice would be greatly, greatly appreciated. Has anyone else endured this endless cycle, or am I truly alone in this circle of research that never ends!?

IN LOVE WITH A DREAM

2009-06-06T11:36:00.004-05:00

For as long as I can remember, I have always enjoyed the art of writing. To have the ability escape into the deep realms of my minds vast portals of imagination allowed me to cope with the cold truth of reality. I fell in love with a dream! To one day share my stories and the people living within them with the world!

For a little while, I let this dream die, the weight of the world covering the casket of my once prominent goal. Instead of becoming a famous writer, I went to college, had children, and became wrapped up in a career that consumed my life, both at home and at work.

As I see my children grow and the creation of their imaginations, I cannot help but miss that part of me that I mistakenly pushed away. Now I am doing everything to get back in the game, reclaim my dreams from the dark recesses of my overcrowded mind, and live the life that was destined to be mine!

I love to create lives that exceed the expectations of the viewing eyes that consume each and every word of their story. To tell the tale of a man and woman struggling to express what their hearts know long before their minds ever caught on. To tell the tale of a woman's discovery of her amazing gifts and her efforts to hide them from the world in fear of how she would be viewed by those around her. To tell the tale of true love, mystical events, and mythological creatures!

So please come forward and read the words of my heart and mind! Write feedback that will encourage an aspiring writer to move forward and improve her mighty pen! All comments welcomed and all advice eagerly awaited!! Thank you for your interest in this dream that I have loved for so long but almost forgot!